The Book of Days (Redux)

The Book of Days (Redux)

I have had it.  The plethora of "days, months, and years" that have mushroomed out of control is beginning to seriously annoy me.  For instance, social media was awash today with notice of National Siblings Day.  Don't get me wrong, I am not singling out siblings.  I love my siblings both biological and adopted. I genuinely enjoy being with them. Nevertheless, do we really need to celebrate every possible job, affliction, condition, race, creed, and religion?

While today is Sibling Day, sioon is Wildflower Week, the third week in May is National Bike Week as well as National Police Week, after which comes Emergency Medical Services Week.

In May alone there is: May Day, Loyalty Day, Mother Goose Day (I kid you not), Save the Rhino Day, Baby Day, Brothers and Sisters Day, International Tuba Day, Space Day, Lumpy Rug Day, World Press Freedom Day, Bird Day, National Candied Orange Peel Day, Renewal Day, Star Wars Day, National Hoagie Day, Oyster Day, Beverage Day, National Tourist Appreciation Day, National Teachers Day, No Diet Day, School Nurses Day, And National Tourism Day.  Excuse me, did I say in May?  The above so-called holidays all occur within the first seven days of May.

Although I am well known as a curmudgeon and therefore cynical of virtually any public celebrations, do we really need a "No Socks Day (May 8), or staying on the theme of socks A "Lost Sock Memorial Day" (May 9)?

There are of course extremely important holidays that may not be overlooked.  Dance like a Chicken Day (May 14) immediately comes to mind although National Sea Monkey Day gives the chicken dancers a lot of competition.

I understand that many very good, charitable causes have petitioned the government for days and even months to celebrate as in "Painful Rectal Itch Day."  But clearly what is happening is that individuals in our culture are so desirous of and entitled to recognition and special status that the really important celebrations tend to be denigrated and overlooked by all the noise.

I of course am not above the fray, and so I therefore propose that the third Friday of May be called John Shanken-Kaye Day.  Of course I will be petitioning Hallmark to create a holiday card with this theme so that millions of people might interrupt their daily grind to stop and consider how special is John Shanken-Kaye.  I expect to be showered, not only with cards, but donations, in the form of cash or debit cards.  People who sincerely desire to celebrate JSK day will go out of their way on that Friday to be especially cynical, sarcastic, and, for those of us who know what it means, ironic.

While I do not expect that my holiday can garner the weight of say, National Macaroon Day (May 31), engaging a high-powered public relations firm to spread the word about JSK will slowly build acceptance and excitement for this important holiday. I do not of course expect that JSK Day will become a National Holiday but I hope that everyone will take the time, on May 15th, 2014, to reflect on the many very important things John Shanken-Kaye has done to enhance your life. Don't be concerned if absolutely nothing occurs to you. This is to be expected when considering a new and profound holiday tradition.

Just make sure to send the money.